And here we go again... (NOT the Paramore song...)

Hello boys and girls,

Two months after I wrote my first blog entry in two years, it seems I am quite in my proper form. Inconsistency seems to be an inexcusable yet permanent part of my personality. I don't know where this comes from, but my bet would be on laziness. You know when you just want to stop doing everything and let the world just pass you by? I guess we all get that feeling at one time or another. The thing about me is, once in a while, I succumb to that feeling for a few moments. And then when I get back to reality, more than a few things have happened that causes my life to suck even more.

Am I making sense here people? Let me rephrase.

For every little moment of indiscretion or lapse in judgment, you pay for it dearly. I know we've all heard a form of this saying at one point in our lives but I tell you, this cannot be more true.

So what lapse in judgment am I talking about? Oh, so many to tell...

I really don't want to get into the specifics of this list, but let it suffice to say that when this year ends, I'm going to be more screwed than a charred skinny barbecue served during Medya Noche.

For now, I blow off a bit of steam... and go back to reality. *sigh*

Until next time... Take care boys and girls.

Ciao!

2 years?

Wow... That's the only thing I can say about this. 2 years of not posting anything. ANYTHING! Wow...

Hello boys and girls. Miss me much? No? Oh well. Not really surprised.

What have I been doing? Oh, nothing much. And by that I mean A LOT. Where to start... where to start... Oh, check out the song! (the previous post)

It's one part of it really, what's bugging me lately. I don't know how else to put it. But I digress...

Where was I? Oh, the part where I tell you what I was up to these last two years. 2 Years! Well, to start, I have a son. He's almost 10 months old now. He's big unlike me, has round eyes like his mom, and smart! Oh, how I dream that he gets all the smarts his genes have to offer.

Not married yet, just in case you're wondering. When to have the wedding? I'm not really certain on the date. It has to be within the year though. Why? Well, that's a secret.

What else... hmmm.....

Oh!

I am a teacher right now. What? Me? Teacher? WHAT?!

Yes. I teach English, believe it or not, to unsuspecting European students who would never think that I'm actually a Business and Economics major. Well, almost everybody I know (save a couple) have professions or specializations quite unlike what they do now.

I moonlight as a pseudo-manager for a local band on weekends. What's the band's name? Nyctinasty. What? Nyctinasty. Again?! N-Y-C-T-I-N-A-S-T-Y (this happens more often than I would like, believe me) If you're curious, check out http://www.myspace.com/nyctinasty

(My fingers are getting tired right now courtesy of the many lesson reports I have (and will have to) write/written so I'll take a break. If I remember, I'll continue this but if I don't, then, you know me...)

My Latest diatribe

-The Madness-

Looking at you

through the smoke and the bottle

I know that you

never would think that I think of you

more than someone

who is just there to listen

I die from

the pain of just keeping it hidden

Tell me: what should I do to not think of you?

when you're all I see, all the time,

tonight

Tell me: what could I say to push you away?

from this heart of mine that is yours alone,

tonight

Forgive me

If my glances stay for too long

Forgive me

If I suddenly break out into song

I am enamored

I am entranced

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me

Tell me: what should I do to not think of you?

when you're all I see, all the time,

tonight

Tell me: what could I say to push you away?

from this heart of mine that is yours alone,

Tell me: what could I say? Should I go? Should I stay?

In this heart of mine you are not alone,

(this madness is eating away at me now

burgeoning, threatening to claw it's way out)

Tonight

Merry Christmas!!!

Hello there boys and girls!

Just dropped by to say Merry Christmas!!! Have a wonderful Holidays!

Ciao!

Sitting in a Cafe in the Metro

-Irony-

Where once shambles stood
Where none but dirty, battered feet
set foot
Now none can be found
Where once poverty lay
Where none could be safe from
the violent melee
Now riches abound
Where one would be appalled
By the sight of generations
of misery
Now will be awed
By the indifference
The duplicity
The joylessness
The disgusting opulence
of carefree souls
Hovering over the grounds
of battered hopes
of broken dreams
of dismal lives
Spoiled by their riches
Blinded by the glare of a life of
comfort
Which is more sad?
Man's inability to care
Or his stubborn unwillingness to share?

Climate Crisis

Hello there boys and girls...

We're having an event next Saturday, just thought I'd share...



What: Climate Crisis: Club Party for a Cause

When: July 7, 2007 (7/707)
7:00 PM

Where: Club Industry, Tomas Morato, Quezon City

Why: To raise awareness on the effects of Global Warming and what we can do to help

Who: Top executives, young professionals, celebrities, and politicians



Reduce your carbon footprint now. Help save our planet. Stop Global Warming.
check it out - http://www.theasianalliance.org

Bum...

Yes folks, the inevitable has happened. I've graduated and finished college. And now I don't have a job. This scenario is quite far from what I have envisioned three or four years ago, even 3 months ago, but here it is. What to do? Indeed, what to do?

I've applied at a couple of companies, have a couple of interviews next week, missed a couple more last week, and all in all, still no signs of success. The company I've been dreaming of starting is still in my dreams. I have no funds, no suppliers, no staff, and basically, no company. I still have the idea though, sleeping in my head, and in the heads of four other like-minded individuals who are suffering the same fate as me.

Is it my fault? Is it their fault? I don't know. Maybe I just lost steam. Maybe we all lost steam (damn BA142). The question that lurks at the back of my mind now is: "How can I get back on track again?"

Several possibilities are forming in my ever-active mind.
1] I fall madly in love with a mysterious girl and she is kind enough to return the favor. (this scenario will do wonders for my already tattered ego and, of course, heart)
2] I get a call from a mysterious employer offering me a high-paying, highly exciting job and that I can start right away.
3] I win the lottery, thus giving me enough capital to jump-start my business.
4] My grandfather closes his financing deal, re-open our sugar mill, manufacture ethanol, and thus making me the richest 23 year-old single male in the whole of Bacolod. (as if....)


All in all, I'm not hopeful. Anybody know anybody who wants a young, brilliant, good-looking, romantic, and energetic new face in their company? Please please please, give me a call... LOL! ^___^

sunday bloody sunday...

Hello there boys and girls,

Its been another while hasn't it? and as always, I would ask if anybody missed me... Probably not. But, that's the way it is... I've been meaning to write for quite some time now. But its like everytime I look at the blank space of a new entry, I lose all strength and just give up.

I am graduating 20 days from now, on my 23rd birthday. I should be happy. I should be ecstatic. But for the life of me, I am not. And I don't know why. I always dreamed of the moment that I would finish college, dreamed of going up that stage and hearing my name being called. I always tried to do my best so that I wouldn't just graduate, but graduate at the top of my class.

I will... I'm at the top of my course. I will graduate Cum Laude this summer. I have fulfilled my goal. I should be proud of myself.

But why do I feel so empty? Why do I feel so utterly alone? Even in this place where I am surrounded by friends and my siblings who love me. Why do I feel emptiness in my heart?

When I started this journey, I offered whatever I would gain to someone. I swore that whatever I achieved, it was for that one person.

Now that its over, it feels like everything that I worked for was for naught. Now that its over, I feel that the hardships and the triumphs do not mean anything anymore. Because it was for you. But now you are gone.

I wish it was as easy as finding someone new and offering everything up to that person in place of the one I lost. But its not.

It is so damn hard.

And I feel so damn frustrated and empty and alone and sad and f***ing angry at mysel for not having had the strength to pull myself together and carry us to the end.

Is it too late?

It is Palm Sunday today. It is the day the Lord entered Jerusalem, in full knowledge of his coming death. Today the wave at Him in celebration, in a few days they ask for his death. "Forgive them... they know not what they do."